Building Self Confidence In Children --
Learn 10 Powerful, And Effective Ways
Building self confidence in children helps them become confident adults. Many accuse the "self esteem movement" of encouraging children to feel great about themselves for just existing, but not for actually doing anything, however, this never works...
....It's not possible to feel great about yourself if you have no confidence in yourself, or in your ability to function effectively in the world.
When you were a child, were you allowed to try new things, and learn from your mistakes?...
...I remember when I was growing up, my Grandmother's favorite line was, "Yours is not to reason why. Yours is just to do or die.". My mother's was like it, "Because I said so." This might sound harsh, but I can assure you they meant well...
...Always concerned that I'd break it, or get sick, or get hurt, or spill it, or drop it, or mess it all up, or make a mess, or get an F, or -- and here's my favorite one -- "make me wreck".
Over-controlling parents cause fear, and shut down a child's natural urges to try and experiment . Being punished, or ridiculed for mistakes, often causes a lack of confidence and social anxiety.
Empowering, rather than punishing, preventing or protecting, is the best way to build self confidence in children...
...Maha Huneidi, author of the "Empowerment And Kids" website says, "When you empower your children you give them the self confidence to make the right choices."
10 Ideas For Building Self Confidence In Children
- Allow them to make mistakes, and learn from them. Take the time, and have the patience to explain things to your child. Give your child the chance to learn how to do something for herself.
- Provide guidance, but let them choose their own clothes. Don't make your child wear clothes that embarrass her in front of her peers. My mother wanted me to look my best in school, not knowing that being "over-dressed" made me stand out from the other children in a bad way.
- Encourage them to explore and try different things to find what they enjoy. Pay attention to your child's special abilities, and encourage him or her to develop them. Get the lessons, or materials needed.
- When your child comes to you with a problem, listen and respond. Many children feel powerless because they feel that no one listens to them.
- Make your home "kid proof". That way you won't be afraid for your
- child to move around in it, and be a child.
- Teach your child that she is valuable and important by spending time, and playing with her.
- Allow your child to have feelings. Be accepting of him even when he's angry. I don't mean to tolerate abusive behavior, but to have empathy and give support. Dismissing your child's feelings as being silly, or inappropriate tears down their self confidence.
- Praise your child's efforts and progress often. This encourages your child to keep trying and not give up.
- Teach your child how to prepare some of her own meals. This gives children some control of their lives, and encourages independence. Of course your child is going to smear food all over the counter the first time she makes a meal for herself -- allow it! Congratulate her on doing a good job, and then happily show her how to clean up the mess. Here's another great self esteem activity for children that teaches them how to eat healthy.
Building self confidence in children is about helping them to discover and develop their own unique selves. It's not about making them into a better copy of you. Too many parents do that -- projecting their own ideas of success onto their children. Self confidence comes from self knowledge, self development, and practice.
I hope you enjoyed this article on building self confidence in children. If so, be sure to check out our self esteem activities for children, as well.
One of the best ways to build self esteem and self confidence in children is to be confident, and have self esteem. Often, parents with low self confidence and self esteem pass that on to their children. If you are a parent, or a teacher who would like to learn how to build confidence and self esteem, stick around and explore our site. You'll find all kinds of free self esteem worksheets, exercises and activities to get you started.
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"When you interact with another and that person tries to enliven limiting behaviors within you, they are most often subduing you through the mechanism of non-approval. This is the first cunning technique that dis-empowers our inner child."
~Lujan MatusCopyright © 2011-2013. All rights reserved. Self-Esteem-Guru.com
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